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I Tried to Replace Men with ‘Clit Sucking’ Sex Toys

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Yes, the world feels like a never ending onslaught of crap, but within the malaise we still have to find little nuggets of joy. For me, that little nugget appeared in the form a type of sex toy I had never heard of before: an oral sex simulator for women with vulvas. These toys claim to utilize suction in a variety of ways to mimic the sensations a clitoris would feel during oral sex. I've been calling these type of toys "clit suckers", but I don't know whether any of them are actually doing any sucking. They never took off in the way these new suction toys have, which first hit the scene in around For instance, take this tongue merry-go-round thing called the Sliquid Sqweel.
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Getting Freaky: How dangerous is masturbating with a vacuum cleaner?

This invention relates generally to sexual stimulation devices, specifically to a female stimulator. A variety of devices have been developed for stimulating the female genitalia during masturbation or foreplay. The most common is the vibrator, which works by applying pressure, friction, and vibration to the inside or outside of the genitalia. Being a cleaning device, it does not produce any pleasurable sensations.
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Teenage boy is full of raging hormones and has exhausted the list of household items to put his penis inside. Teenage boy decides the suction pipe of the vacuum would be the ideal next step. It added a spinning propeller, a razor-sharp blade mounted a few inches inside the end of the vacuum hose.
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